#DANGER WILL ROBINSON, THERES SOME BAD FUCKIN' WORDS AHEAD.
#Hey all
I wonder if anyone even reads this. I saw a bunch of traffic the other day, probably a port scanner. I'm tired y'all.
I feel supressed, not depressed like I have in the past. Like theres something physically holding me and preventing me from feeling, doing, enjoying. I'm becoming codependent again. I don't know what to do when I'm alone. I should be working on homework right now but instead I'm sitting here writing a gemlog.
#sighhhh...
I submitted a complaint earlier in the office at the apartment complex. I don't complain to people who matter often, hell this was the receptionist IDK if she has the power to do anything about this. But I had to complain to someone. I feel like *Old Woman Yells at Cloud* about the things I care about. I don't want to complain but I'm sick of not knowing if my concerns are valid and keeping them to myself because of it.
#It's February 27th. I live in the Northern Hemisphere.
It is 73F (22C). Its already bad enough the lawn crews around here refuse to use rakes instead of leafblowers. It's worse that they continue throughout winter in my area. But today is Friday. the lawn crews are in some other neighborhood fucking up someone elses day. No, this is worse.
#Presumably there was a complaint
I've lived at this place for coming up on 2 years now (give or take 6 months, time and I aren't on speaking terms), and they've never, EVER, cleaned the roof above the gym. It's been gross, collecting trash that's blown off of balconies, leaves from the trees, nasty water from the rain. Who knows how many critters made their home there. ya'know? Shit was nasty with a captial NASTY. So they cleaned it, great, it needed doing. Lo and behold beneath all that grime we have an archaological dig! 10,000 years of New Mexican dust built up atop this roof, (maybe theres dinos in there, I for one would love to see a pterodactyl). So there's a whole fucking desert worth of dust, so how does one get rid of dust?
#WE INTERUPT THIS SPACECAST FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE
##Hi. I'm Nora Bell, a representative of Nora Bell's Wild and Wacky Interdimensional Import Emporium!
##Due to a recent clerical error in our interdimensional acquisitions department all rakes and brooms from universe *Alpha-611q^2 have suddenly and extrajudiciously been sent to work in the mines of Woodhandlia (universe Beta-117p^-1). While our legal team works on their safe return, we here at Nora Bell's Wild and Wacky Interdimensional Import Emporium want to ensure every single universal citizen be offered a free "Rake and Broom C-C-C-COMBO SET!!!!!". Just walk to your local hardware store and do the needful!
#We now return to your normal programming
Anyway, so like, what do you do if you need to get rid of the entire Sahara, hate your tenants, don't care about emissions, and want to get silicosis before 50? Obviously not a fucking broom that would be sane. No, the fucking maintenance newbie decided to use leafblower and some airpods. No hearing protection because "If my music is louder it can't possibly damage my hearing". No respirator or dustmask becasue "If I don't know inhaling dust will lead to a most painful death over many years then it can't possibly hurt me." No notice to the residents because "Fuck them i guess? It's only 75 fuckin degrees so their windows are all open, theres no way the cloud of dust, exhaust and noise pollution I'm dumping into their homes would possibly upset a person"
#Angry huff
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##Angrier huff because the first one didn't get the job done
I wish this keyboard was actually mechanical instead of a lookalike. I need to angry type right now and membranes don't get the job done, and I don't wanna damage the butterflies on the laptop.
Even enraged, I'm being conscientious. Do you see what I fucking mean? God why can't I just let myself be pissed off and scream into the void like everyone else? That's the whole fucking point of this gemlog!
I'm getting worked up, I feel my heartrate spiking, my blood pressure climbing.
I need some therapy, some yoga, and to put my soul through the wringer, I feel clogged up. [This sentence removed to protect the writer] I was a tightly bound ball of stress wrapped around a core of confusion, dipped into plaster and encased in resin, so I could tell people "see, you can see right through me, nothing to hide, nothing secret in here."
Kintsugi of the soul. Maybe it is time for some ego death, and subsequent necromancy.
Nora Bell
Hey 😀
I’m Nora (they/she). I’m some nerdy girl adjacent thing. I make code, I selfhost, I tinker with stuff. I play guitar and am teaching myself synth with a eurorack sim.
I love hiking and biking. I’m in school to get my degree in software dev (finally).
Check out my website here https://snowebell.cc/
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