Sometimes we say them online. I had the luxury of owning my data and the things I posted until I decided to make my blog subscribable. There is at least some evidence somewhere of the things I’ve posted over the last couple days. I subscribe to my own RSS for diagnostics for example, and the posts in question certainly exist over on my freshRSS feed.
I’m a hothead y’all. Wasn’t a secret. I’m actively working on ‘chilling the fuck out’. 3 years ago I’d have fought someone for saying I was a hothead. Today I can admit I am one, and take steps to make amends for the things I said when my cortisol spiked. Progress is being made.
I reached out to my stepmom. Dad’s gonna call me tomorrow. Just a big misunderstanding, and I blew up. I’m supposed to be practicing positive self talk, recognizing that once upon a time I was in a volatile house and blowing up when I felt affronted was the way I could gain control over my situation. I don’t need that anymore. I’m safe to relax, and just be offended. Hell I’m safe to use Hanlon’s razor and assume the other person didn’t know they set me off.