I’ve got a step father and a bio-father. Both of them are as in my life as I’d like them to be, well mostly. I wish I talked more to both of them. Forgiveness is hard, and it’s not something you only have to do once.
My childhood was a shitshow. Too young parents who didn’t know what they were doing. Doing their best, but never good enough. Kids raising kids. If my mother were smarter back then I probably wouldn’t be here today though, so cheers to that I guess? Anywayyys. Having a step dad (who’s been there since day 0) is super weird. The man cut my cord, ya’know? I’ve got that connection to him but I always doubted he had the same connection do me. And my father lived around 230 miles away from me so I only saw him on weekends… then monthly… then every few months… and now I think it’s been almost 2 years, closer to 6 before that. Our relationship has always been strained by distance, but also time. Shakespear said “distance makes the heart grow fonder” but Maynard said “Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion” and when you’re an angsty teen who’s surviving on spite and the fact that her kid brother wouldn’t understand if she offed herself, I promise that Maynard rings closer to home.
End of post, guess I needed to vent a bit?
Love y’all,
Nora